I can't even express myself in this moment. I feel so lost, broken, and defeated. I'm still fighting to keep going on. I didn't even realize I had this song on my phone, but it played today when it was on shuffle. It's amazing how songs can say everything I can't. I heard this song today and I broke down. It's exactly what I'm feeling. I was going to try to attempt to write out all my feelings today, but this day has defeated me, so I will let the song speak for me. "Broken" by Lifehouse will now forever be the song for my lost children.
Dealing with Endometriosis, PCOS, Adenomyosis, low ovarian reserve, and a hostile uterus. Struggling to maintain a normal life while taking this journey. Putting my trust in God and hoping my writing can help others in similar positions.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
From 40 weeks to Grief
February 21 marks a reminder I wish I could forgot. I should have been giving birth, or at least completely uncomfortable waiting for labor. Instead I'm a little over a week from when my last and final beta finally started to go down. I'm losing another child when I should have been giving birth. I can't even understand how this is even possible. I can't understand.
I can't even express myself in this moment. I feel so lost, broken, and defeated. I'm still fighting to keep going on. I didn't even realize I had this song on my phone, but it played today when it was on shuffle. It's amazing how songs can say everything I can't. I heard this song today and I broke down. It's exactly what I'm feeling. I was going to try to attempt to write out all my feelings today, but this day has defeated me, so I will let the song speak for me. "Broken" by Lifehouse will now forever be the song for my lost children.
I can't even express myself in this moment. I feel so lost, broken, and defeated. I'm still fighting to keep going on. I didn't even realize I had this song on my phone, but it played today when it was on shuffle. It's amazing how songs can say everything I can't. I heard this song today and I broke down. It's exactly what I'm feeling. I was going to try to attempt to write out all my feelings today, but this day has defeated me, so I will let the song speak for me. "Broken" by Lifehouse will now forever be the song for my lost children.
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I'm so sorry dear friend. I wish there was something I could do to make it better. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that this song came on your phone. I've found, over the years, that it takes something like this to help get through the other side; and you will honey. Just give yourself time to grieve. (((Dianne)))
ReplyDeleteTricia_TD