Monday, September 8, 2014

Labor and Delivery (part 2)

I'm going to back up just a bit from where I ended off on part 1...

When I finally decided to call the on call doctor I found out that it was Dr. W, of all the doctors in the clinic this was the only 1 I did not want to deliver my baby.  I had a bad experience with him at my first OB appointment and again later when I had a kidney infection and a yeast infection later after that.  He was also on call the night I had my scare that Sam was coming early (around 30 weeks).  This dr pretty much ignored my history and acted like I was a freak who was just overly paranoid for no reason.  If I had used him solely throughout my pregnancy then I may not have made it to 36 weeks.  He didn't believe SPD was a real thing or that endo could cause any damage or pre-term labor issues, even though I had a history of loss and one thing we knew was that in some of those early losses my body had been going through labor before the baby's heart had stopped so they were not bad eggs.

We finally got seen around 4:30 and by 5 it was confirmed I was in labor.  Getting my IV in somehow was a pain.  I blame the nurse doing it because if you were to see my white arms you would clearly see my veins.  I ended up with the IV in my right hand,  Not on ideal place, but whatever, to me at this point that was minor and I had no idea that this was going to be the better part of my delivery care.

The hospital was running on skeleton crew and we only had 1 nurse the entire time.  I was asked if I wanted an epidural and/or any pain meds.  I had decided long ago that if I ever made it to delivery I was totally ok with meds because I've dealt endo and miscarriages that if I had the chance I would take some relief.  There was only one anesthesiologist in the hospital at the time and he was taking care of a c-sect patient but would be there after.  I was ok with that, at the time I was only dilated to a 2, so I had time. It was 5 o'clock or so and I was gritting though all my contractions that were quickly becoming very close together and longer and more painful.  I was sending out texts to those that needed them and updating my FB and twitter people! The nurse was in and out of the room running around and getting things ready.  I had not yet seen my doctor.  Around 6:30 she checked me again and was surprised I was already dilated to 6.  She told me the anesthesiologist would be here next and I was grateful.  My SPD was becoming very painful, more so then the contractions.  I asked her about my SPD and if Dr. W wanted to evaluate it, but she said no he wasn't worried about it (yep, he didn't care to look at my chart to see what Dr. H had updated about it).  I asked when I was going to see the dr, and was told this was my first so we had plenty of time, he wasn't even at the hospital yet.  At this point I was hit with another contraction so I was focused on my breathing and nothing more, though I was livid about what she said.  In the middle of the contraction my nurse got a call and informed me that there was an ER situation and the anesthesiologist would be a bit longer and then asked if I wanted [some pain med I don't remember].  I said yes.  She left the room once again.

My thoughts were going a million miles an hour.  Hadn't we just gone over my history on my arrival, sure this was my first live birth, but not the first time my body had been through labor.  So my body didn't need to learn what to do.  She came in w/ some pain meds just as another cntx hit.  The meds helped just a tad, but not much and she finally checked me.  I was at an 8. Once again she said this was my first so it would take awhile.  At this point I don't think I got more than about 20 sec. breaks between my cntx (my husband said I had one last for at least 8 min).  I had completely lost track of time and had no idea how much time had passed, but if I was at an 8 already it seemed it wouldn't be much longer.  I was getting anxious for the dr. to come in and evaluate my SPD.  Finally the anesthesiologist walked in and asked if I still wanted an epidural.  Yes please! My husband helped sit me up and I was given clear instructions that even if a contraction came I had to stay still.  I couldn't even get up bc I could feel my baby coming.  I told the nurse who pretty much acted like I was just a freaked out wimpy women who had no idea what was going on in delivery.  Boy was she surprised when I was fully dilated and it was time to push.  Reminder I still hadn't seen the dr.  She once again told me that it was ok, it was my first so we had time.

I begun  the process of pushing.  Pushing felt so much better! Then suddenly she told me to stop pushing (um, what?!).  She then left the room.  UM???? WHAT????!!! I was fighting with almost nonstop contractions and a baby who was determined to come out.  The nurse came back in and told me that the dr. was on his way and not to push when when it felt like I needed to.  Do you know how hard it is to stop your body from pushing out a baby that is determined to enter the world?  Its not possible I tell you.  Finally crappy Dr. W walked in.  The first time I had seen him.He slowly stood putting on his gloves and gown while he also told me its ok this is your first it will take lots of pushing.  He instructed me to push at my next contraction which had just arrived, so I pushed.  He was still putting his arm into his gown about 4 feet away from me when I said "the baby is coming!" (even though I had said it before but was ignored) and sure enough that last push got my baby out and the dr had to leap forward to catch my baby.  My husband next to me was ready to jump in when he saw what was happening. 8:59 AM was announced and I was shocked that so much time had passed, it had felt as though it had only been an hour at most.

In that moment I didn't care about the crappy care I got, or was getting as he delivered my placenta, I was just so in awe that our baby girl was here and she was healthy.  I sent my husband to the baby to.get pictures while my placenta was delivered.  He reached out to her and she grasped his finger in her little hand and she was officially wrapped around his finger!

Dr. W informed me that I did tear, but it was a good healthy tear and would heal on it's own and needed no stitches (the truth  of that to come later).  He then left. My nurse actually did do great post delivery care and for that I am grateful.  She really was a good nurse.  I tried to remind myself that it wasn't her fault my dr. was crappy or that the hospital was working with skeleton crew.  My biggest complaint for her was the lack of remembering my history and so saying insensitive things and for not believing me each time I told her to check me.  Even though every time she checked I had almost doubled my dilation so when I said baby was coming no matter what I did she should have believed me that I knew my body.

I got to spend time doing skin to skin with my baby girl and attempting our first nursing sessions.  It was a glorious time that I treasure so much.  All that crap I dealt with to get to that point was totally worth it.

The nurse helped clean me up.  I complained about how hard it was to walk but told it was normal and would heal quickly as my hips and pelvic joint goes back together.  Baby Samantha and I were bundled up and sent off to postpartum care.  The end the nightmare was over and the best was to come.  I was blissfully unaware of the issues to come from such a fast delivery and lack of real medical concern to me. My husband and I were, for the moment, just enjoying our sweet baby girl.  

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Labor and Birth (part 1)

I know it's been awhile since I have posted and I apologize.  It has taken me awhile to decide what to do about Samantha's birth story.  I had convinced myself that since both of us were okay that I had no place to share any negative feelings about my experience.  After dealing with infertility for so long I lived in this bubble believing that if everything was okay and healthy that I was not allowed to complain about anything or share my real thoughts because I just needed to shut up and be grateful.  I will say that even though labor and birth were not ideal I am so incredibly thankful for my dear baby girl and that all of it was so worth having my healthy baby with us. That being said here is our story...

Friday, Jan. 10, 2014 started out fairly normal.  I woke up feeling a bit off, but I had been for awhile now.  I had been more ill feeling since she had dropped.  I had made it to 36 weeks so I was slowly upping my activity level since it was now safe if I delivered.  I had a doctor appointment to get ready for and after that I would be going in every week until I delivered! I was so amazed and grateful as I got ready. While taking a shower I realized something was a bit different feeling and come to find out I had lost that mucus plug.  I had been slowly losing it for awhile now, but I knew this time was the real thing. I still wasn't too worried because it can awhile before delivery.

My dr. app. went well. I was dilated to 1cm, so barely anything to think too much about.  I was coming back earlier the next week on wed so we would talk  more about my birth plan.  I had severe SPD and my endo and adeno had done a lot of damage to my uterus before getting pregnant that we needed to talk about my options.  There was a huge risk that if I delivered my relaxin could overproduce and I could end up with a huge issue in my pelvic joint and end up with DSP. At my next appointment my dr wanted to evaluate my gap and see what he thought.  If it was worse then we would be scheduling a c-sect.  It was not my ideal birthing plan, but I also didn't want to end up having my pelvic bones screwed together! I was sent off and told to keep being careful because my dr still wanted Samantha to cook another week!

I joined a friend for lunch.  I was feeling pretty off and uncomfortable, but I decided it was just the end of pregnancy discomforts and continued my day as planned, which only meant one quick stop before heading home and relaxing. My husband got off work and I was feeling worse and worse, but still I only figured it was normal and didn't say anything (IF really made me unable to express discomforts much).  We went to bed fairly early that night.  I kept feeling worse and worse and spent the next few hours tossing and turning.  I finally got up around 1 AM to use the restroom. I stood up, washed my hands after and started to walk back to bed when I was hit with a coughing fit (oh did I mention I had just gotten over a small lung infection of some sort and has fighting with that?) and had fluid running down my leg, still I didn't think much of it, I was pregnant and had a baby sitting on my bladder after all.  It wasn't a lot, so I continued walking to bed, more fluid fell.  Well that's kind of strange I thought.  I stood still and just waited, but nothing else happened, so I went and got some rags to clean up the small puddle shaking my head in shame at my inability to hold my bladder after I had just gone pee! I was so uncomfortable I couldn't deal with just laying in bed and by now my thoughts were racing, what if that was my water breaking? No, I thought, they always say you'll know when it happens.  I got up took a shower (yes I took a shower) and then paced around the house.  My discomfort got worse (I had been having contractions, not braxton hicks, since about 30 weeks) and I realized my normal contractions were increasing in time and in strength.  At 3 AM I decided I needed to call the doctor and wake up my husband.  I walked back to my room to get my phone and wake up my groggy husband.  I woke him up saying "I think I'm in labor." He was so confused by my use of think that thankfully he was awake and alert quickly. I called and was told to come in and get checked out.  My husband asked how much time we had, and my contractions didn't feel that bad to me and I was about 7-8 min. apart so I told him we weren't in a rush.  He got up and took a shower and then loaded up the car.  By this time I was pretty sure I was in labor.  By the time we made it to the hospital I was about 3-4 min. apart.

It was a long wait, but by about 5 AM we were finally being seen.  We hadn't called or texted anybody yet since I was unsure if I was in labor and Steven's parents were up at the cabin.  We didn't want anybody traveling down for a false alarm.  Finally we were told that yes my water had for sure broken, though by then I knew that.  We sent out all the alerts we needed to, texted, called, FB, twitter were now all aware I was in labor.  I was only dilated to 2 cm so we still had a long ways to go, or so we thought....

part 2 to come later!

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