Bloody Monday

Things have sure not gone as planned this loss, not that a loss is ever planned.  My bleeding became really bad on Monday.  I called up Dr. S and was told to go straight to the hospital.  They tested my blood and did an ultrasound.  My uterus was full of blood. Then my beta came back and showed barely any drop.  This was scary, it meant so many possibilities and another ectopic.  I was also showing very low iron from blood loss and borderline severely dehydrated.

I was hooked to IV and told I must stay overnight.  Thanks to a low white blood count and my history I was not allowed any visitors, including my husband for fear of infection.  The next day my levels were tested again.  They wanted to get my iron and electrolytes back up before testing my beta again.  They wanted by blood to be better to give a more accurate beta result.  They decided blood level was good and took my beta, which was still hovering in the same area.  This meant they were almost positive it was an ectopic.  My bleeding had decreased and so I was given the shot of mtx and sent home to let the rest of this nightmare play out.

Just as we were pulling up in front of our home I got a phone call, apparently Dr. S had ordered the hospital to do another u/s and to take a tissue sample.  He wanted to know if I was losing pregnancy tissue, or if it was endo/adeno tissue.  I was suppose to have this before my shot.  He wanted to know where it was and he wanted to know if my bleeding truly was less.  The ultrasound sound showed significant amount of blood in my uterus. Which means the bloating was not lingering effects of OHSS, but from too much blood.  While waiting on tissue testing Dr. S ordered a MVA.  My dr. is two hours away, and what I didn't know was that he was on his way to my hospital.  When I walked into the room for my procedure I was so surprised to see him there.  It was a small bit of joy in this dark time.  He was concerned about all the blood and wanted to see for himself what was going on after it was cleaned out.

I was not looking forward to this MVA, Dr. S was even nervous, he couldn't hid it.  Every time I've had a D&C or MVA it's agitated my adeno and caused it to burrow even deeper into my uterus walls.  It was so painful, and hurt so badly.  It was like my whole body wanted to fight this procedure. It felt like my whole body was being sucked up.  My head started pounding, my feet even being to tighten, but in a matter of seconds it was over.  Then the ultrasound to show what had happened.  My uterus still had a lot of blood, but not dangerous levels, and my Dr watched it to see if I was adding more rapidly.  It seemed to be doing better, so I was allowed to dress.

During this time my results from my tissue samples were done.  There was still some pregnancy tissue in there.  Dr sent me home though, he felt safe that we had gotten all we could for now without making things worse.  He's pretty positive that my ectopic had embedded into my uterus walls, but that the shot and the MVA would be enough to clear it out.

I took another beta today, but today's results may still be weird.  I'll do at least one more and if the numbers are falling we can assume it's finally ending.  Dr. S was explaining everything to me, from the ectopic, to the massive bleeding from adeno tearing up my uterus.  I stopped him and asked him if this was all just a dream, it sounded unreal.  He gave that sympathetic smile and patted my back and told me it would be over soon, we can talk more than.

Now I'm home, resting and unsure of what to feel.  I'm just hoping, when hope seems impossible, that it's finally all done.