Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Insane Pain, but Still I Have Hope

The last few weeks have been a whirlpool of pain, lost hope, and frustration.  After all my cyst, and after a crappy appointment on Friday I hit rock bottom.  As you read in my last blog, I then had the hardship of Mother's day to fight with.  I was a wreck.  I then received a phone call about an hour before I was suppose to leave for my ultrasound 2 saying that they would refuse treatment unless we paid everything today, everything meaning all the back payment.  I was frustrated and annoyed.

I fought though.  I had spent a large part of my Friday explaining how I was still in the process of sorting things out with our insurance and that since THEY had canceled my Thursday appointment with my doctor, which was suppose to be where we figured out what to do with this insurance complication.  I was GUARANTEED that it wouldn't be an issue and once things were sorted out we would figure out what we owe. When that call came I was shocked, and I was MAD!  I was not going to pay out $450 just to have an ultrasound and wait to be paid back when I was unprepared to pay it.  I found an inner strength  I never knew I had and stood up for myself and interfiles alike.  I confronted that what they had done was wrong and after a long battle they finally agreed for me to only pay half of it. 

I got in my car to drive away feeling so frustrated, broke, hopeless, and sad that this would probably be my last chance.  That all was about to change though.  I got my ultrasound and even though things were not as good as one would hope, but things had progressed a LOT!  There was hope.  This is finally helping.  I still have a ways to go, and I still have the battle with insurance to deal with and have to figure out the financial stress of things, but they are moving forward and for that I am grateful.

Today I had nowhere to go and I was able to finally sleep a solid 5 hours of sleep.  It has been an insane amount of time since I have had that much sleep at once.  I feel so refreshed and that is an amazing feeling.  I am still in a lot of pain from my cyst and from just having endometriosis, but I am rested and I have regained a hope I had lost. 

I also have found a great community of support online on twitter.  It has also been a great source of strength and encouragement and I am thankful to have found them.

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