Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Desire to Sleep

The desire to sleep has taken over my body.  All day I hope of falling asleep and getting a few good solid hours of dreams. The simple act of laying down, closing my eyes, and relaxing my body seems so easy, right?  WRONG!  The effortless action is the hardest thing for me to accomplish, and I am an overachiever.  I have failed at one of life's easiest jobs.  This endometriosis has ruined so many things.  Why must is make me lose the one thing that gives me the most relief?  Since I cannot sleep I now write.  Though one would argue that my lunatic rantings at 3 AM is truly writings, but nonetheless, I write.  I share with you my heart and my life.

As I have explained before, this site is not just about my struggle with endometriosis.  Endometriosis  is my largest battle at this time and so I share of those trails often.  My inability to sleep has lead me to write and share.  I do believe that all things happen for a reason, and that all events, good or bad will help to build our character into a strong being.  For this I am thankful, that I am learning to trust, to trust God with my life, to trust others with my heart.

I have shared a little about how I have recently gotten back in touch with my biological family.  I had just sent off a letter to my sister and was eagerly awaiting a reply.  I got back a wonderful letter from my sister.  It is amazing to be back in contact with her, it is like we never stopped writing.  My sister and brother now have a facebook account, so now I can keep in touch with them daily.  I do love what technology has allowed for us.  The question about getting in touch with my biological mother was not clearly answered, though I think I may finally have made a choice.  In time I may change that answer, but for now I think it will be the best thing for everyone involved.

In a few months I should have my printer/scanner all hooked up and I hope that I can add some pictures of my sister and her kids.  I can also share the pictures of one of the few times we were actually with each other in person.  Life is such a funny thing.  I can look back at where I was just 10 years ago and I am amazed at how life has turned out.  God sure has a strange way of teaching and growing us.  I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes, a quote that makes so much sense once you are able to survive what life throws at you.
"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward." Kierkegaard

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